Defining Moments
by Sirona
Summary: [Oneshot] There are certain moments, in our lives, that help to shape our character. Inuyasha does not like to remember his.


**Disclaimer: **Inuyasha is the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. I don't own anything.

**Summary: **There are certain moments, in our lives, that help to shape our character. Inuyasha does not like to remember his.

* * *

Sitting pensively in the tree branch that he had claimed for his own, Inuyasha scowled up at the full moon. Damn the old flea for talking. And damn the meddling girl for asking!

Deep within the locked and hidden depths of his mind, the memories stirred uneasily.

His mother…he had not thought, really thought, about his mother for a long time. Not since…not since shortly after her death…

* * *

_Running, running, through the forest, breath coming out in harsh gasps, muscles aching. The youkai chasing him was older, stronger, more experienced. He ran, wishing his mother were here, so that she could envelope him in her arms as always, and make this nightmare disappear. _Haha-ue…I want haha-ue!_ But she was gone, and she couldn't save him, not from this. _

_Inuyasha cried out as his ankle was seized, and he went sprawling headlong into a tree trunk. _

_Dazed, he looked up from beneath its shadow._

"_Well, well, well…what have we here?"_ _His hunter had apparently decided to play with him first. "A lost little _hanyou_, all alone?" Rows of razor sharp teeth showed themselves in a decidedly nasty grin. _

Hanyou? _The word caught Inuyasha's attention to the exclusion of everything else. _Hanyou?

* * *

_He did not understand their mocking sneers, their cruel japes. He was a child, and still naïve, in the way of children. He did not understand why they left him alone, why they did not let him join in their games. He did not understand what they called him._

"_Haha-ue, what is _hanyou_?" he had asked, innocently curious. And watched, astonished, as she stood unmoving for a single, shocked moment before enfolding him tightly in her arms. And she had _cried

_It was the first, and only, time that he had ever seen his mother cry._

_

* * *

_

Haha-ue…_but he couldn't think about that, not now. Gritting his teeth, ankle throbbing, very possibly sprained or broken, Inuyasha ground out, "So what? You have a problem with it?"_

"_Shut up, hanyou," the harsh voice commanded. A casual backhand knocked him against the tree again, and this time it took a while for his head to stop ringing. _

"_The strong survive, and the weak die. That is the rule that we of this world live by. Your human blood has made you weak," it sneered. "So you, little _hanyou_, are about – to – die!"_

_And the creature was upon him, jaws aimed for his neck. That moment one thought only was in his mind: _I don't want to die!_ Then instinct took over; though his eyes flinched closed, one arm went up reflexively, catching the dangerous teeth on the fire-rat sleeve, while the other reached for the vulnerable throat, claws embedding, then slashing into flesh. Something warm splattered across his face, and a strong coppery tang invaded his nostrils. A heavy weight dropped on top of his body, crushing his lungs. _

Can't…breathe…!_ Panic overtook him, and he clawed his way frantically at the lifeless corpse, carelessly shredding it to pieces on his quest to get out. Once free, Inuyasha stayed on his hands and knees, panting. That had been too close. If it had not left itself wide open due to overconfidence…_

_Finally, he raised his head and looked at what he had done. Gold eyes widened slightly as he took in the blood soaked ground, his blood soaked hands…there was so much blood. Somehow, he had not thought that there would be so much blood. The scent crawled its way up from his nose, permeating his senses. He lost the little of the breakfast he had painstakingly managed to scrounge that morning. Claws dug into the soft loam of the forest ground; then he deliberately wiped them off as best he could on the leaves lying around, and staggered upright._

The strong survive, and the weak die, huh? _Claws dug into his palms, fresh blood mingling with the old. _Haha-ue…Haha-ue, I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to save you. I'm so sorry…_ With an effort, he blocked his mind from those memories threatening to spill again into his waking world. _But I'll grow stronger – I'll become so strong that no one can harm me again! _Doing his best to ignore the pain of his battered and bruised body, he gave a mirthless smile._

_His arm aching where strong jaws had crushed it, Inuyasha limped away from his first kill. _

_He did not look back._

_

* * *

_

_The strong survive, and the weak die. _But he hadn't been strong enough. He had failed to gain the Shikon no Tama, and Kikyou had – _no, don't think about that! _

Distantly, he noted the approach of the girl. That girl who looked so much like Kikyou. A reincarnation? It was something he doubted – the two were so very different in personality – and yet…and yet there was something so very familiar about her…

A sudden presence of intense jyaki cut off his thoughts. "Get down!" he hissed, and instinctively dropped from his perch on top of the girl, already scanning the surroundings.

_The strong survive, and the weak die_. It was funny, how he could spend his whole life living by that maxim, and yet forget the circumstances leading to it. But…why then did he protect this girl, who was a stranger to this world, who knew nothing of its ways, nothing of survival?

_Keh_…Inuyasha pushed that to the back of his mind, like he did everything else that troubled him, confused him, that he did not understand. He just accepted it.

Because the strong survive, and the weak die…and if he did not protect this girl – this Kagome – then she would die, and he needed her…needed her to find the jewel shards. And that was all.

* * *

**A/N: **This fits in…I think it was Episode 5, just before Sesshoumaru turns up. Just a look at what made Inuyasha the way he is at the beginning of the series. And I've always loved the scene where he's with his mother.

Not really sure about my ability to write fight scenes; I think that could have used an improvement. But this was just something to unwind after finishing a 6000 word draft for English.

'_The strong survive, and the weak die'_ is taken from RuroKen.

Feedback is always welcome, so please review!


End file.
